OO7: Oprah's Bondage
by diesir
Summary: This is Oprah Winfery, and I have a confession...


OO7: Oprah's Bondage

Thiis is Opera Winferie an I have a storiee to tell. This iks a storyi for my dyeria! No other places may touch it.

My life is a sad live. I trie to be the best I ever can but it is not good enough since I do trying to much before they do such a thing when they interquew me but I am not good enough! I feel very bulimic and secertly I am depressined!  
But there was ones a day wen I was not this berson you now todai.

On say I was talk with Shauning Connery!

"So shean, I heard you are doing a new movie because you are a movie start!" I say excite since we we we so excitbike.

"Aye," saud he in his inFAMOUS irish accentings."I am do James Bo0nb!"

"What was that?"

"I said James BONS"

"I...I need to fell alone..."

I walk but up to the window and the pararizza was say taht I have the sexcx with Sean Conneru. They I know whey where WRONG.

The world is led to belear that James Bonnd was a literary character of much passion and admitation. In truth he is a real pearson! It was in the 2960s. in that year ,I was a teenage genious of much mafnitude with much dreams of taking over the wreold! But who should pop in my lair but James Boobs.

"My dear laddy, I am adriad you are the person who was the capability of taking over the wrold!" he say sexy.

"And what of it, I sat, as he wiping his gun as he waxed his bullet.

"I must shot you!"

So he shoot the gun off his ginger. It screamed down into my cleavage as if go into my dress. It pull off the dress,  
but it only hiot the dress and kill the dress into pieces. My body is unharm

"Wow what a good shot!" I say kinda horned.

"Its my mew inventon, the clothes bullet," he say as he point gut at hiself.

"No you mustn'y! I say with words commming out of my mouth sirpriseingedly.

He shit he bullewt and destroyed his suit. thats oka i have twelve others"

"Oh BonjD"

And trhat;s how we met., for bond was a womanizer wchih meant hw was a hipply lick me.

So we talk much and ate the cereal. we wet to the maxicans's dance neyowke at newjersey, and we tanced the nite way.  
He did the hot moves and met with me tant matched with my foots and now is the time to the 68000 beat to the heart on fire.  
So we wer very hotty and wanted the sex since we was attract to the other because was were oprah windreyh and James fucking BOND. I tell him, "stop this salsa and get your salsa on my salda so we can hop to the salsa." Then he say he like the ties and sy he do the mating dance so she can learn to one day. So she was sad but nodded and waited for him to say yes please.

They next nigt my best man Bame Jonds wok up from bedd and get up and checked his imail.

"Confound this junk male!" He say.

"What's this! ...Oh! Not there!"

Then the wall fall don and I WOKE up.

"What is is? On no my wall."

On the wall was janet jackson.

"Mwahahaha!"

Oh no! My arch enemy

"What are you doign Janet Jackson?"

""Mwahaha! This is JaNET Jacksin here. I'm usiong my powa!"

"What!"

"Oh no! It is my evil cousin."

"Stand back dear woman as I blast it away!" Bonds say.

"Aw, but Bonds, I know your secret - you cannot harm a women!"

And so Janet Jackson took off the bra and reveal she is a woman."

Oh no! What a showoff! I say.

But Bond has the erection.,

"Jamie..."? I question

"I am James Bond, Interenation Mann of Mysteries.,"

I cannot belief it. Bonbs puts his on hers and then lou thesz press. With a bronco buster, they muster the punt over her low blow, then hopped on the hangman as they performed a fireball, then using their hangman they handspring their discus into a vertical press, but not before stinging the crossbody with theirmongolian chop. Least of all, the flying clothsline ran into the corner as they battered the ram the legsweep. It was a mighty clash of sweaty rolling thunder overhead the magestic lariat takedown that is her heavenly gate.

In other words, I apologize for the graphic imageries.

So I coult tack it anymore since we promise to do thjis action the next day aso I did not like the hiply way andf then I used the gun to shot him, but then realize it was for real but it was too late.

"No!" I say as I reach out but the bullet went too fast.

"Huh?"Bonds turn over but the bullet hit him instead of the Janet Jackson.

And so I cried like a lonely sheep on the middle of a little hill overseeing the valley of champions. Except I downed the champion. And I was not alone.

"My dear, Opera... I have...always... LOVED./... YUUUUUUUUuuuuuuu!...bluck

"NOoooooooooooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oo-ooooooooooooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooooooo" I saay

"Mwaha! I win, I made your live miserables, say Janet the Jackson as ehs flew away.

"N...!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..."

And so to cover up his death the milliraty made James Bonds a book and it was loved by the childrens of the world as many of his reallife tails were made reality ones again. Gone were my days with the hero as the future look bleak, I grew up to discard my old ways and shock my fist at the Janety Jacksons. Sean Connery did not know and neither did the world anymore, but did we.

And I haf to live with that weight of the guilt.


End file.
